Today is cloudy and cold but the road to the cemetery is in good shape considering the weather lately. The grave looks great as always Brad and the girls do a great job of keeping it up. Mary Harkins flowers were blown over and I set them up. Mom has new flowers and a Christmas Tree, Raindeer and new halo on the statue. I know Mom is proud of it all I know that I am. There is also a Manger Natvity Scene. Jackie made the Christmas Tree and also made one for Helen and they are splendid indeed.
LORD- it is only a few days til Christmas now and I don't know if I can deal with this. Please help me.
WHISPERS FROM THE PAST-
As I set here watching the wind catchers blow in the breeze, a cool one I might add, I think back many Christmas memories to one year at the CAFE. Cowboy hats were the rage because of DALLAS on T.V. Some one got me a huge foam 10 gallon hat and we all got kick out of wearing it and taking pictures
THANK YOU LORD- For that great Whispered memory from the past
December 26, 2002
Our Christmas Dinner went well and I was very pleased how we were able to get thru it all. Everyone came and seemed to enjoy the time together
THANK YOU LORD- First for your Son and second for my Family, third for helping us get thru this first Christmas without Mom
WHISPERS FROM THE PAST- Just the other day I was thinking about how Mom loved to buy me Avon's Wild Country After Shave because it is my favorite, a small act of love, that she enjoyed so very much. To my great surprize and joy one of the girls gave me Wild Country in my gift package and in showing off my <loot> to Lisa I got all of my stuff mixed and don't know for sure who gave it to me. Lord the great sisters you gave me keep amazing me to no limit. A time comes to mind once when I was still in school, I had gotten a Science Lab for Christmas and it had Sulferic Acid among the chemicals in it. Mom kept the kit in a upper closet compartment that I could hardly reach. Kathy was a small child at the time and she managed to get in to the kit and got burned on her leg, Mom threw away the kit and I was upset and thought I would never forgive Kathy for making me lose my kit. I don't know if Kat remembers that incident but she has never mentioned it. I am going to ask her soon. LORD let her forgive me for blameing her all that time, because I don't know if she blames me. I got married and moved out of Mom's house and don't have many memories of Linda, Sherry and Joey when they were small. They are about the same age as my kids and used to come to my house and play with them.
THANK YOU LORD - for the memories that I do have and may I always have them in my heart to warm and comfort me when I think of Mom
December 29, 2002
Yesterday I attended Kayla's 3rd Birthday party and LORD I really thank you for my delightful children and grandchildren. There is no greater joy than to watch them grow and become adults. I sometimes think that if I never did anything worthwhile with my life, that they will be my redemption and that my spirit and essense of life will be carried on thru them and LORD I am humbled by the thought. LORD I thank you for sending the Butterfly to Lisa, she has shown improvement lately and please let it stay with her until the grief is bearable.
WHISPERS FROM THE PAST
As I am working on my computer this morning an expression of Kat's comes to mind. She has this really cute "Whoaaaaaaaa" draging the end way out, when she gets excited or impressed about something. LORD each of the girls remind me so much of Mom that it warms my heart so, to even think of them. And sometimes such as now, tears of joy comes with the warmth, I look at them and I realize that part of Mom lives in them, and I think, wow, how blessed can one person be ?
January 2, 2003
This week Lisa and I went to Dilliard to visit my friend the horse, that Mom and I always visited when in the area. We stopped by Mom's grave and I put down Kathy's platt for her and it looks great. It has a beautiful verse on it that, warms the heart. Lisa told me of an event where Butterflies had flown out of her Mum bush, into her face. She asked "Where did they come from this time of the year? " and I told her I had sent them and told her the story of the BUTTERFLY and the HAWK. She was amazed and admits that she is feeling better all the time. We went on to the farm where the horse lives and he was across this huge pasture. When I whistled he came slowly to me. I was so glad to see that he was still there. I could only find cheese and peanut butter crackers to give him, and he did not like them. I pulled a couple of hands full of grass and he ate from my hands. He lives near an old mill on a creek and the recent rains had the creek flowing at capacity and the huge wheel was turning.
LORD - WHAT A GREAT DAY I HAD WITH MY FIRST BORN CHILD, AND OLD FRIEND "SPIRIT" AS I CALL HIM IN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL, SERENE PLACE IN DILLIARD, GEORGIA
WHISPERS FROM THE PAST
As I sit writing this entry, whispers from the past reminds me of when Joan and I were first married she had a kidney infection and lost a lot of weight <40 lbs>. She came thru the house and her shorts were meeting in the back, someone I think it was her Dad was there and we got the biggest laugh out of that sight.
LORD- thank you so very much for Joan and the great love, life, and children she has provided for me, Thanks again for sending the Butterfly to Lisa
March 12, 2003
Today there is a light and gentle breeze blowing the wind catchers and the chimes are playing their Heavenly tunes as they gently fall upon my ears. This is an absolutely georgous day and the grave is perfect as always.
THANK YOU LORD: For the care Brad and the girls are giving to keep the grave so perfect. Today there is a cement bench, here, I don't know who put it here but is so beautiful I can't find the words to describe it. It is white with a light edge around it that is a plum, burgandy, lavenderish mix of color. There is a cabin in the woods scene on the seat WOW !!!
Last week Kathy and Joe, Sherry and David, went to Hilton Head Island with me on vacation, Mom would have loved it so.
THANK YOU LORD: For sending them with me, to comfort me because I could not have gone alone and I know you sent them with me, and we all needed the time together. Thank you for showing me and the girls more of the beautiful world you have made for us to enjoy, on Hilton Head Island. And for the Bryan's who shared their beautiful home with us. I will never forget the experience.
There are no birds singing in the winds at the cemetery today, but I did see one Butterfly and the Wildflowers are starting to appear every where. I placed new flowers, a new poem and some Sea Horses from Hilton Head on the grave. I know Mom loves them.
WHISPERS FROM THE PAST:
For some reason thoughts of the time that Mom and Brad both worked and My Great Aunt Beaula Jackson Winkler babysitted for us. I can't remember which of the other kids were born at the time but we lived off Brownsbridge Road on Shallowford Road. I have asked Brad but he don't remember either. Tomorrow will be one year since Mom passed, a lot has happened since then but all in all, things are well.
LORD THANK YOU FOR: My Sisters, the Hawk, the Butterfly, my Wife and kids- all the Signs from you- for all of these things helped me to cope with my loss. Even though there is a great void in my life thanks to you I will continue to live, love, honor and appreciate all that I have
Today I have decided to stop entries in this Journal, I have been told by some that maybe I am bareing my Soul too much for the World to see.
For those who- Have read this Journal and felt my Soul and Heart ,
For those who -May have enjoyed my unusual relationship with my Mom and Sisters,
For those who -Search for Love, Honor , Appreciation.
